This Should Fix It 006
A free LRY class, reflections on the week, and playlists
The astrology is extremely promising. Jupiter is about to change everything for the better. What was I doing in 2014-2015? Chani implied an air of thriving. Will we see a resurgence? I trust her. This will certainly fix it.
But! Do watch out for the Mercury Retrograde. Do watch out for the miscommunications and misfires. Of course, I think. I’ll be extra careful.
I wake Monday morning swimming in a sea of anxiety. I slept like shit thanks to the drinks at the birthday party. I feel frustrated at making my life harder than it needs to be, and at the loss of progress that I’d gained in my new watchful (obsessive?) regime last week.
My clothes don’t fit. There is weight around my belly that I’ve never experienced outside of postpartum. Is this 40? Is this too much letting loose on the weekends? It’s both.
I decide to rein it in, and in true all-or-nothing fashion, I go hard.
I’m measuring servings of cottage cheese, stacking my plate with raw vegetables, tracking my protein. And of course, stepping on my scale every morning.
“Throw that thing out the window!” my friend exclaims when I tell her. I know she’s right. And she knows I won’t.
Willa is gifted a tiny cat stuffy. I watch as she beats the ever-living shit out of it and then transforms herself into the hero. “I gotcha. I-I-I-I gotcha. It’s okay. You’re okay,” she coos as she pets her lifeless little friend.
I laugh at our sameness, the familiarity of the routine. Create pain, then rush in and rescue.
Wake up defeated. Use the scale to confirm. Spend the rest of the day trying to be better. Trying to be someone worth taking care of.
The difference, though, is that Willa is two. And my body is not a lifeless kitty that I’ve accidentally turned into a victim. Also (!) not a horse I need to rein in.
Perhaps it’s more like a plant. Body doesn’t need a jail warden; body needs simple, boring things that keep living things alive: water, sunlight, fresh air, nourishment, movement, rest, and enough room to grow.
I’m writing to you from a chair in my friend Jordan’s salon awaiting my quarterly clean-up. Earlier, I got Botox for the first time in six months. I won’t go into the morality of injecting toxins into my face, because that’s not the point! The point is, I’m taking this whole Friday afternoon to do some things for myself that make me happy. And it feels good.
And with that energy at the forefront, I want to give you a gift.
A free 30-minute class.
Enjoy what your body can do, your own company, and this holiday weekend.
I’ll be doing the same.
FREE 30-MINUTE WORKOUT: Just the Hard Stuff 158 - Now That’s What I Call Movement! Vol 1
If you enjoy the class, join hundreds of members moving with me from home (or wherever they find themselves). Use the code SUMMER for 50% off your first month.
For my paid Substack members, below you’ll find a fresh batch of playlists from the week.
And for yearly paid members, you’ll receive a link to access my private Song Bank. It updates constantly and holds over 3,000 classroom-tested songs from my years of teaching.
Thanks for being here!
I hope this helps you feel a little more loved.
